Around 1.5 years ago I was the fittest I’ve ever been. I had a solid workout routine, got my morning walks in most days, my diet was almost flawless and I felt so powerful at the gym, both in strength training and cardio. My body responded so well to my lifestyle and I was getting closer and closer to reaching my fitness goal. Also the food I ate was nourishing and fell within alignment of what I truly believe is healthy. I hardly paid any attention to my weight, it was the lowering of body fat and growth of my muscles that drove my fire. Looking back on it, I truly loved every single bit of the journey I was on. Then things came crashing down without me even realise it.
Slowly things started to drag me down. I lost another close relative, I was in a really toxic relationship without realising it, I took on a full-time course during the day while still working in the evening, my sleep got cut down so I could manage everything else. I had a moment where I was close to burned out and my body started to signal it with dizziness and an increased heart rate, my living space was so messy and close to unbearable, my training was still the same even though I had less hours in the day, my financial situation was far from sustainable, I injured my back and the biggest hit was losing track of what I truly wanted to do with my life. It was a constant question that hung over me every second like a dark cloud. As an ex backpacker all I wanted to do was to escape and start travelling again.
From that space of thriving I entered a moment when I wanted to give up. I lost my passion for fitness and placed my training at the bottom of my priorities, I ate without caring and went between loss of appetite to overindulging, my body weight went right up and I reached my heaviest weight so far in life. From my physical appearance and my eating habits, I questioned myself as a health and fitness professional. If I didn’t look, eat and think like I ‘should’, then how can I help others reach their goal? One evening the thought of skipping dinner due to my weight hit me and the idea immediately got my attention. It was time to turn things around.
During this journey I felt so lonely. Even though I had my close friends to talk to, I felt like no one understood what I was going through and that my issues were overdramatic and silly. Since I was little, I’ve had issues with opening up and asking for help. Always kept my thoughts and feeling to myself.
When you’re dropping from a happy place to a darker one, it’s hard to recognise the change until you’re on your way back up again. Even if you do understand what’s weighing you down, talking to someone close to you is not always the easiest. What I learned looking back on this story is that everything is connected. To feel happy in life you need to balance all areas. If one part is out of balance, it will slowly drag you down even if the rest is fine. This became clear to me after I started my studies as a Holistic Health Coach. I sat down and rated all different areas in my life. Then one by one I started to address the struggles and how I could thrive in each area. A plan was put in place and before I knew it, I was on my way up again. Back to my happy and positive self. My passion is thriving like never before and I have my mission back in place. There are so many lessons learned from what may seem to be such a short period of time but that what life is all about. You live and you learn. I most likely would have turned things around quicker if I had turned to a mentor, listened to close friends when they saw the warning signs and most of all listened to my own intuition. In the end, you hold more knowledge than you think.